We’re playing Edinburgh on 26th August. We’ve had some of our best gigs there but also strangely all our top 5 worst Hussy’s gigs of all time were all there. Here they are:
1/ Edinburgh Herriot Watt University
Fili had texted the band in the morning to say that she had food poisoning. She hoped to make the gig that night but she wasn’t sure. We turned up and soundchecked without Fili. She then appeared ashen faced and ran into the toilets to be sick. We’d set all the gear up. Gordy and Greg suggested that I should just sing the songs since I used to be a singer. I wasn’t sure- mainly because I didn’t actually know the words. I spent the next 3 hours with my I pod desperately trying to learn the lyrics to our set-it was maybe the hardest I’ve ever worked at a gig in my life. I knew the choruses and most of the verses but it was just getting the words in order which was tricky. Fili was sick again and then perked up. She thought she’d be alright to do the gig. We went onstage and started doing Marty. Fili ran off to the toilets which were stage left. The venue wasn’t busy and you could hear Fili’s heaving vomit noises echoing round the room. I sang the rest of the set. I’d just throw in some words like “meatballs” and “anticyclone” where I couldn’t remember. Have to say the version of Jesus we did was excellent-“Oh you dum dum meatballs up a hill since bet me puppy on the National”. I think Greg told the audience at the end that “I was just the guitarist and a big hand for James singing his first ever gig tonight”. Cheeky bastard.
2/ Edinburgh University
We’d been told by the promoter that there would be “an audience of upwards of 400”. She said she couldn’t pay us but we figured that by the time we sold say 30 albums we’d break even, pay the van, our soundman and the petrol and have enough for 3 bottles of champagne after the gig. The PA system was fantastic and we did a great soundcheck and were buzzing about the gig and headed off for some food. When we came back to the venue at 10pm there were 2 bar staff, the PA guy, Alan our soundman and 2 DJs-but there wasn’t even a dog or a packet of crisps blowing around the venue. We did a great gig. I think this may have prompted Rachel to leave the band as she had quite a good grasp of economics. However, Chris, who was drumming at the time was buzzing afterwards and said “it was maybe his best Hussy’s gig”.
3/ Edinburgh Backpackers
The guy wiring up the PA system had a posh public school accent but seemed to be having a few problems with basic electronics which they probably don’t teach at Fettes College. These problems became more obvious when after the gig we discovered that he’d wired the main PA power to the band’s onstage monitors and the meager monitor power to the audience speakers. The effect was utterly misleading. The sound we got on stage was fantastic. Unfortunately the audience were treated to the Hussy’s as bees inside an empty can of Irn Bru wired up to a 1997 Nokia mobile phone. What seemed to make matters worse was a huge shit that someone had done on the floor of the toilet next to the toilet bowl. It’s closeness to the bowl seemed to underline the sheer pointlessness of that particular gig. I mean surely they could have made the extra 2 feet to the toilet?
4/ That place near the Royal Mile
I think I have to step forward and take the blame for this particular gig. That afternoon I’d bought a Boss tuner. I didn’t realize that a small red dot above the A meant A sharp. Ah the small details in life. Anyway cue mayhem. I eventually borrowed Ronnie’s guitar during the last song as I couldn’t get my own even vaguely in tune. Afterwards Ronnie explained how the tuner worked as he had one. We got a great review in the Daily Record.
5/ Open air fun run gig
The strange thing about this gig was that we played really well and most of the audience liked it. It was just the surroundings that were strange. We were right down in the open air arena below Princess Street. Every few minutes loads of runners would go by in front of the stage and wave at us and the crowd would cheer them. There were also kids doing stunts on BMX bikes on a ramp right in front of the stage. I said at the start of the gig “Do you want to come up here and play this and I’ll have a shot on the bike?”. In a Glaswegian accent it sounded aggressive but I was just joking. The poor pre teen slunk off after being bullied by a grown man with a cowboy shirt on.